We don’t know if there are still a lot of people out there who believe in love – or marriage for that matter. With all the news about divorce and annulment circulating around the internet and television these days, we wonder if people are still interested to date and get married to the man or woman of their dreams.
While we hear (or see) stories of broken marriages around us, there are actually success stories of marriages that happened in real life that could perhaps lit up the fire of love once again to those who have been cooled off by it.
By drawing inspirations from these success stories of marriage, you can begin to live out with your spouse some of the important elements that will keep your marriage last a lifetime. Here are the secrets:
Marriage is hard work as what most professional marriage counselors would always say. It is an effort to make your spouse happy and satisfied.
The primary opponent of hard work is selfishness. If you yourself have no intention of making your marriage blossom, then most likely you would care less about your partner’s feelings and needs.
It is a give and takes a process. To keep the fire of love burning in your marriage, you must first work hard to meet the needs of your spouse so that by naturally, your spouse will respond in providing you with your needs as well. There is no “one person” who is by effort doing everything to satisfy the marriage convent. It is a covenant or a contract between 2 parties involved, therefore each one should work hard to satisfy each other.
Gary Chapman has published a book entitled “The Five Love Languages” which is a book designed to help each spouse discover their personal love languages and work on those love languages to make their marriage grow.
Challenges in the journey are inevitable and it is possible for one to easily get exhausted or too overwhelmed by it eventually.
If pains were made along the way, remember not to keep it within yourself until it accumulates and burst like a bomb. The most dignifying way to handle all of it is to be open to your spouse about your feelings and opinions. Talk it out to someone whom you can trust – a marriage, a counselor, your best friend, or a family member perhaps.
Seeking help does not mean getting more people to the side you, but rather a way for you to be able to see the situation from a different perspective outside of your own. People, you know who love you will always have your best interest in mind. Therefore, they are concern about your growth and maturity just as much as your happiness as a married person.
By seeking help, you are seeking wisdom from those who went ahead of you. Counselors, parents, and teachers are some of the best people to tap on during trying times.
Invest time for each other
It is natural for couples to get busy with their separate jobs and everyday dealings, and so because of this, it may be hard for some to find time for each other, which is a big mistake that every married couple should avoid.
The cares of life always have its own way of distracting couples from doing what is more important and valuable. While there is nothing wrong with going to work and doing the daily grind, it is but imperative for couples to allow at least a few minutes of quality time daily to talk about different kinds of stuff, crack a joke, make some future plans, and share affection with one another. This will not only keep the marriage fire burning but as well as prevent the tendency of having to create a non-functional marriage.
Before you entered into the covenant of marriage, remember that your spouse lived a different life than yours. You may find him or her with different skills set and mindset and this may trigger possible heated discussions down the road.
However, don’t let those differences get the best of you. The last but definitely not the least secret to a lasting marriage is to always be ready to forgive. Forgiveness leads to peace, maturity, and happiness.
Marriage is such a wonderful experience, especially to those who have been honed by it. Whatever happens down the road, if there’s still love left in your heart, choose to fight for it. Like what they always say, “Love is sweeter the second time around.”